Moscow Heat

Starring: Sergay, Vlad, Gregor Ivanobitch, Takoma
Directed by Dmitri X
Import/Export Productions
42 Minutes

The new capitalism in Russia has dramatically improved both the quantity and the quality of gay porn being produced in Eastern Europe and Moscow Heat is a shining example of this glossy new aesthetic. Not to be confused with the 2004 release starring William Baldwin and Michael York, this Moscow Heat opens in a gym that is so new that it looks almost unused. Gregor Ivanobitch bench presses his brains out for the camera as Takoma looks on from his stationary bike. (Warning: Both are attired like extras from Flashdance.) Gregor pauses for a moment, just long enough to catch Takoma’s eye, and suddenly Gregor’s gym shorts (from the 80s) are across the room and his Russian manhood is plunging down Takoma’s throat. Takoma ultimately bottoms for Ivanobitch over the side of a red glittery weight bench and the cumshots are replayed in super slow motion to demonstrate Russia’s complete technological dominance of the porn industry in the former Soviet Bloc. Fade to Sergay and Vlad (“The Ass Impaler,” just in case you missed his preference for giving rather than receiving) mid-fuck in a hotel room overlooking Red Square. The domes of the Kremlin, lit from below, look like giant dildos decorated for Moscow Pride (which was, by the way, heavily pro-tested in its first year and even publicly denounced by Moscow’s mayor, Yuri Luzhkov. Luzhkov reportedly hates the band Leningrad, but you can listen here just to annoy the homophobic dickhead). Vlad fucks Sergay like there is no tomorrow, not just for your viewing pleasure, but because he is fucking their way to FREEDOM!

My only complaint with this new release from Dmitri X is its skimpy running time. At just over forty minutes, Moscow Heat ain’t so much rump for your hard-earned Rubles…