Monday, April 02, 2007

Wild Cops

Starring: Brian Hanson, Johnny Cage, Paul Carrigan, Vince Sicillano, Jorgan Varg, Martin Petros
Directed by Mark Ludwig
Iron Horse DVD
(Approximately) 60 Minutes

Do you dream of getting pulled over? Do mirrored sunglasses get you instantaneously hard? Do you crave a man in uniform? Then Wild Cops could be just the thing to scratch that itch. Firemen get it on with the men of the California Highway Patrol while smoking cigars and wearing mirrored sunglasses. A cop fucks a hairy biker over the back of his machine. If you fantasize about not being able to pay your parking tickets or being punished for any number of moving violations, then Wild Cops is for you (although the perpetrators tend to be a bit more raucous than the authority figures, despite the chaos implied by the title).

The men are hot, and the action scorching, but some of the props and settings can detract from the sweaty man-on-man action. Like the terrifying floral print on the couch in one of the longest scenes of this release. I’m not sure that I can accurately describe the hell that is this particular couch... Imagine the overstuffed love child of Claude Monet (check out that beard!) and Laura Ashley and you’ll begin to understand why its hyper-feminine presence is so damn distracting as the backdrop for such guttural, hirsute mansex.

Atrocious furniture aside, Wild Cops has one of the finest rimming sequences ever committed to video. A CHP patrolman, whose thick torso is a dense wall of fur, gets serviced by an equally beefy perpetrator clad only in a wife beater and a jockstrap. Not surprisingly, the officer’s ass is a fetid wonderland alternately worshipped by the would-be convict’s curious tongue and thick fingers. The cop returns the oral and digital favors before shoving his cock into the supple crack of his eager charge. With the aforementioned jock pushed to the side, the officer jams his fat baton into the hairy, and fully-compliant, hole that is offered up like an apology for speeding in a construction zone (where fines tend to double, jut FYI...)

Lust and law enforcement combine in the best of all possible ways in this release from Iron Horse.