Saturday, December 16, 2006

Workmen’s Compensation

Starring: Bill Eld, Jim Hughes, Ray Todd, Donny
Director Uncredited
Falcon Studios
55 Minutes

Apparently, back in the 80s it was still possible to receive a complimentary in-room fuck with your daily allotment of fresh white linen. Even at the shabbiest of roadside establishments. This is exactly what happens at the beginning of Workmen’s Compensation as the camera ushers us into the bathroom of just such as motel where a smooth and horny young stud, who looks a LOT like Joey Ramone, is assiduously lathering his lengthy cock and pendulous balls. Enter California Roadside Motel Employee of the Summer of 1983 with new bath towels and a saucy glint in his eye. Luckily, the shower curtain hangs untouched as the award-winning employee hangs washcloths on the flimsy racks and pretends, momentarily, that he doesn’t notice that the motel guest in the shower is vigorously stroking himself. Fast forward to the aforementioned Free Fuck where the guest’s mammoth penis disappears again and again into the hard-working employee’s tight ass.

The blue-collar theme is completely abandoned in the next two sequences that feature back-to-back threesomes and various toys. The first looks to have been filmed in a hotel room somewhere in California, but it is so incredibly nondescript that it is impossible to determine if it’s in the same complex as the one from the beginning of this fine, fine Falcon release. Both threesomes (one indoor, one outdoor) feature a sort of strap-IN dildo apparatus that keeps one member of each trio artificially screwed for the duration of the action.

A young hitchhiker, dressed like an Ivy League dropout from the 70s, gets picked up by a huge American car somewhere in the wilds of Southern California and is promptly serviced by the man in the back seat. That is, until they pull over and he starts sucking on the hitcher’s toes in another roadside lodging. 69ing happens just before the grateful traveler slips his wandering dick into the appreciative motorist and compensates him vigorously for his kindness.

There is some brief enema and fisting action in Workmen’s Compensation, but the best part of this classic release (aside from the totally asynchronous overdubbing) is the music. For just under an hour, the soundtrack rocks out like it got confused and was supposed to support an infomercial, or help to sell a timeshare in Key West, or pump up the positive vibes in an after school special.