Happy Birthday to Zak Spears!

I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Zak Spears at Folsom Street in 2004 and, in addition to being built like a Mack truck, he was incredibly nice in person. It was hot that day in San Francisco and after I introduced myself, he ran his tongue from my chin up to my earlobe and then kissed my cheek and in a flash I could see him, smell him, touch him, and taste him all at once. I was stunned, but managed to tell him how much I liked Solicitor before we had our photo taken together in that bright afternoon sun. (I have, unfortunately, had to shower since then.)

For more photos of this hirsute hunk, check out The Official Zak Spears Worship Site.

XXXChurch.com

At first glance, The XXX Church looks like the only congregation that I would ever consider joining. (Ever.) But upon further investigation, this billboard is part of a national anti-porn campaign brought to you by the fine folks at Fireproof Ministries in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Rather than showing me the error of my wicked ways, this ad actually made me want to rip my clothes off and run through the adjacent cornfield screaming the lyrics to "Hell Bent for Leather" at the top of my lungs.

And you just know that the farmer in the house behind this eyesore started slapping the bishop 24/7 just hours after this was installed simply because it planted the fertile seed of porn into his Midwestern mind.

Way to go XXX Church!